She chose to draw water at midday–when the sun was shining brightly, and the heat unbearable for most people. She is avoided by others and she wanted to avoid others too. She was uncomfortable with the whispered words, the knowing looks, and the stifled giggles from the other women. She was tired of the endless speculations and the embellished lies. She felt so emotionally worn out and drained, that she felt that she had no time of the day to sort out with them what is true of her and what is not. She’ll just keep to herself and avoid it all. They never really want to talk to her anyway, and she thinks she does not care whether or not they speak to her.
But, her heart is longing for friendship. Deep in her heart, she is searching for a deep, intimate relationship that can satisfy her heart and heal her wounds. She has had five husbands already. Before each marriage, she had dreamt of a perfect love relationship. However, they could not love her as she had hoped they would; she did not know how to love them either. And sadly, something tragic always happens to end the relationship prematurely. The man she is living with now is not married to her, and she dared not press him any further to commit to her now, although she tried. She wondered whether she would ever find that perfect relationship.
“Can you please give me a drink?” a soft-spoken man asked her politely at the well.
“How can you ask me for a drink?” she asked.
She was surprised, as she recognized that he is a Jew. Respectable Jews are never seen in these parts, as they would take a longer route, bypassing Samaria, just to avoid interaction with locals, to stay ritually clean. Ritual-keeping Jews do not share drinking utensils with the “despised” Samaritans, who are half breeds to them. But, here’s a double scandal! Respectable Jewish men do not speak to women publicly, especially not without the presence of their husbands! And there were no other Samaritan man in sight!
But, this polite man persisted, unperturbed. Overcoming her initial shock, she found herself surprisingly comfortable with the request of this particular gentleman, despite the jarring reality of the circumstances; in fact, she felt so dignified by his request for help. This courteous man definitely looked tired and thirsty. It has always been her nature to help, sometimes to the extent of over-extending herself. Of the five intimate relationships she had and the current one, some were good, and some were bad. She is an empath, even when in some abusive intimate relationships, she’ll always rationalize the situation, and tried her utmost with her limited best, but, oftentimes in those abusive relationships, she was often berated and put down, she was told that she wasn’t doing well enough for the other. “A drink of water?” Well, this small request was perfectly within her ability. She complied willingly and drew water for Him. She stared intently at Him, as He took sips of water from her container. As she did so, her heart wondered about who this Person is. Satisfied, He smiled and thanked her. Suddenly, He said, the water that she has would not satisfy a person forever. He says that He offers water that would quench her thirst eternally.
Her interest is truly piqued by now. His statements baffled her, but her spirit responded, “I want this water that will forever quench my thirst!”
“I have no husband”
“Bring your husband along,” the gentleman suddenly said.
“I have no husband,” she admitted truthfully. This man’s gentleness and kindness had a way of disarming her. She would often “lie” in many other circumstances. She had so often tried to quell her troubled conscience, with the excuse that they will get married sooner or later, so she would usually claim to have a husband.
“What you say is true, you have had five husbands. And now you have a live-in boyfriend,” the man said, in a warmly personal way.
A thousand and one feelings gushed through her heart… Taken aback by the truth of what He said, the Samaritan woman did not answer for a moment. During the pregnant pause, she thought: Was this a weird sort of pickup line? She glanced into His eyes, and His eyes smiled back in a warm, friendly, and loving way, and a most unsensual but attractive manner.
“What is this man trying to do? He definitely isn’t local, who told him this about me? Who is he?“, a string of thoughts shot through her mind.
Shocked, she realized that the man she is speaking to must be a prophet. He had touched one of her deep, dark secrets! For as long as she knew, she had to keep that fact veiled from the people she met (she tried to keep it a secret as far as she could–although she was not always successful)!
“Why did He ask about my husband…erm, boyfriend?” she wondered. Every time other people mentioned a “dark secret” of hers, real or imagined, it is mostly in an accusatory or judgmental way. In a certain way, however, she was relieved that this Gentleman had brought it up! At times, she knew her current lifestyle was terribly wrong, but He said not a word about her being a bad woman! (Of course, she could live like some widows she knew, unmarried, but, she has a weak family support network and could barely afford it financially or emotionally. She wasn’t the first or last person to remarry after being divorced or remarried. But, oh, the desperate need she felt to be in a married state, it kills her sometimes, so much so that she jumps into relationships even when red flags abound.) She didn’t really analyze how she got into this predicament of living with a noncommittal boyfriend, but, it’s the way that it is now, and she didn’t know any way out. But, for the first time in her life, this “secret” of hers is openly discussed–and in a non-threatening and loving manner!
Now, this prophet who had offered her thirst-quenching water is openly discussing this “secret” in such a non-threatening way–maybe He really understands her problem! Maybe… He truly is a Friend. He seems like a teacher, and she had always had questions about God and worship, but she had no one to ask.
“Bring your husband/live-in boyfriend…” Those words triggered her. She imagined trying to persuade her live-in boyfriend to meet this wondrous person. But, her past experiences informed her of this: the stark reality is that her uncommitted boyfriend isn’t even willing to meet her family members. She had always insisted on getting married, hence, a string of marriages that she had. But, her current boyfriend seldom respected her wishes, but, rough-shod his way to undermine her many insistences on better choices. “Well, but, just maybe, just maybe, he might be willing, this time…”, this thought flashed in her mind. She has always clung to hope for many things, and that’s why she stayed in that relationship so long. But, every millisecond more that she dwelt on these thoughts, swiftly flicking between hope and reality, it dawned on her, that for most parts, her efforts to change the situation for the better had been futile. She began to feel a holy dissatisfaction with her current state. “There must be more than this.” She had an inkling of what she would do when her noncommittal boyfriend is back from outside in the evening. She suddenly possesses a strong resolve to carry out something which she had always had fleeting thoughts about. She was going to move out, until and unless her boyfriend is willing to commit. This surge of strength was fueled by the overpowering flow of affirmation and sense of value that she was imbibing now.
She ventured a question about the theology of worship. She knew very well that respectable rabbis do not discuss theology with women, but strangely, she had a strong feeling that this strange gentleman is different. And indeed, this Prophet willingly answered her question. And then, He suddenly revealed that he was the Christ (the Savior)!
What a refreshing conversation for a lonely and thirsty soul! No one had spoken to this woman as Jesus did. She is an outcast woman, from a despised outcast tribe. But, He treated her with love and dignity, and not like a ‘dog’, as she was often treated. He even ‘condescendingly’ lowered Himself and asked for a favor from her. His very manner dignified her; she was not His ‘case’, someone He was trying to ‘help’. He did not think she was not theologically trained and therefore unfit to talk about ‘high and mighty’ matters. He was tired, hot, and thirsty. And He put himself in a position of need before a public sinner, with nary a word of judgmental tone about her sin. But, it was the Messiah who had come to her–her dry soul had met with the Eternal Source of Living Water, Jesus Christ. He met her needs in every sense of the word.
The disciples returned with food, surprised to find their Master talking to a strange woman alone beside Jacob’s well under the sweltering afternoon heat. Although they dared not say a thing, some thoughts did run through the mind of certain disciples: “What did Jesus want? What did He say to her? Why didn’t Jesus ask at least one person to stay behind, or waited for at least one to return before speaking to this strange woman, who appeared at the well at such an odd hour”. You see, although it is a public space, there was no one within earshot. It’s taboo to most in that culture, it’s controversial at the very least to almost all. But, as mentioned, none of the disciples dared said a thing. Those that know better, know that Jesus knows best. And indeed, Jesus does knows best: He knew the woman needed the space and privacy to process what has happened, to experience the pure and unadulterated love that emanated from Jesus in everything He said and did, and to realize through her conversation with Jesus, that He really cares about her as an individual. Yes, her, she is loved as an individual, she is not just one non-descript person among the throngs! Here, there are no throngs, just her, just her and dear Jesus!
Changed Lives
What happened next was nothing short of a miracle. The lady whose heart was overwhelmed with the new-found Truth and Love, so pure and so refreshing, forgot her jar of water. Rushing to the town to tell all she met, including those that have despised her, she said: “Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the Messiah?” She unwittingly became the first recorded woman evangelist in the Bible!
Confused and curiosity piqued, the throngs head out to the well. Drawing away from their sheltered shades, to hear who this Person is that has totally changed the demeanor of the infamous lady who married, remarried, remarried, and remarried, and now has a live-in boyfriend… (It’s impossible that all her former husband died, no, it’s not wartime, as far as we know. In the days when women couldn’t divorce, she had probably been repeatedly tossed out like rejected goods. Sometimes the reason for broken covenants was also uncircumspectness in morality on the woman’s part; sometimes it’s frivolous reasons on the husband’s part. In any case, her heart was crushed over and over again, multiple times.) “This Jesus told me everything I ever did,” she now boldly proclaimed to everyone that cared to listen, even those that don’t. Many believed her testimony; they were totally impressed by her changed demeanor! But, when they heard Jesus Himself talk about many more things and the way He said it, they were absolutely convinced that Jesus was the Savior of the World. He came to heal our hurts and set the captives free! What a wonderful Savior!
Meanwhile, Jesus’ disciples after recovering from their astonishment, urged Jesus to eat something. “Aren’t you hungry?” “It has been a long day of travel, hasn’t it?” “I have food you don’t know about,” He replied, confusing them even more. “Who brought food to Him?” “My nourishment comes from doing the will of God, and from finishing His work. Look! The fields are ripe for harvest!” He replied. We who knows that Christ lives in us, do well when we do the same as He did.
Epilogue: As I read and reread the Gospels, I’m so overwhelmed by the way Jesus interacts with the Samaritan woman and others. Jesus talked about sin in the gospels. Oh yes, He did, of course He did. He talked about it, not like how the Pharisees talked about it… when they brought the woman caught in adultery to Him, when He ate with Matthew’s friends who are thugs and prostitutes (Matt 21:31, cf. Matt 9). He points out what is wrong, but with such love, there is no mistaking that His motive is love, whether He gives a reminder or rebuke (depending on what the situation calls for, based on the hardness or softness of the listeners’ heart). Without diluting the gospels or their demands of righteousness, He inspired and motivated a desire to do right in the hearts of those He ministered to. I pray that I would be more like Him daily!
Note: Sin is not non-adherence to a list of arbitrary dos and don’ts, but, what would actually harm our relationship with God and others; it’s the opposite of Love’s principles, upon which the entire Bible (the laws and the prophets) are built. (Matt 22)
(Written by Lilian Yap in 2004, Updated in 2014 & 2015, 2017) (Lectionary Reading of the Gospels on March 19, 2017, John 4:4-52)
Both the one who makes people holy and those who are made holy are of the same family. So Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers and sisters. (Hebrews 2:11)
The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.’ But wisdom is proved right by her deeds. (Matthew 11:19)
