“Into me see….” Using a play of sounds, this phrase aptly describes a major part of what intimacy means!
Why do we love to be known and be known, why do we love to reveal and learn about others, why do we love to communicate (and not just in a superficial way)? Why, because we are made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27), and boy, do we have a God who loves to tell us that He loves us from cover to cover of the Bible, and beyond! He loves to tell us what we mean to Him, and He longs for us to respond in love. (The gospel and the letters of John, aka Apostle of Love is full of “if you love me, you’ll….)
So long as they demonstrated that they care about us, so long as they don’t violate our trust and are respectful of the deepest darkest secrets that we share with them, we usually won’t shrink back and love to pour out our hearts to others. (Sometimes, when our fear of being hurt no longer overrides the desire to reveal ourselves to others, we even bear our hearts to others, even when we know for sure that they would misunderstand, or even hurt us verbally or otherwise.)
Sometimes we short-circuit true intimacy, when we jump straight into physical intimacy (when we are physically attracted to another), however, while physical bonding is created to strengthen the bonds of emotional intimacy, it doesn’t and cannot replace the true intimacy that comes to the exchange of thoughts and feelings, as well as a respect, understanding, and acceptance of each another in the process of doing so.
Intimacy is an integral part of deep platonic relationships, which is what all of us need. The world is now highly sexualized, but, true intimacy is woefully lacking. People dress up to seduce, and have a come-hither look, inducing all sorts of sexual imaginations in the hearts of those that do not yet have healthy relationships. But, go closer, you might find that the “come-hither person” is cold, and not emotionally open to you, as what your over-charged fantasies might suggest to you.
This is not to say that deep platonic relationships cannot consist of appropriate physical contact, such as a pat on a shoulder, a squeeze of a hand, or a warm embrace! But, the way our brains are wired, we cannot help but, be sexually aroused by those that we sexually fantasize about. And if you really think hard, it doesn’t do you real good to be sexually aroused by many people that is not your spouse. Why fantasize about having sexual relations with another person, if in reality, you shouldn’t have that kind of relationship with him/her? Why enter a sexually intimate relationship with someone who is not your spouse? (The body remembers… and having body memories of past sexual relationships would fragmentize you when you are actually with the spouse you love.) Here’s a simple illustration: if you really love your spouse, you’ll want to be absolutely loyal to him/her in body, soul, and spirit, and vice versa. That’s why wives swat their husbands with their handbags when they have a wandering eye! :)
And so, learn to desexualize the need to connect and bond with others, learn to choose your friends wisely and connect with those that can bring out the best in you as you share your heart with them, and when you no longer fear hurt, learn to share your heart out even with those that could be your ‘enemies’ for the good of them. That’s what Jesus did for us…when we were yet sinners, God demonstrates His love toward us, when Jesus died for us (Romans 5:8), and so with words and deeds, He showed us how much He really loves us!
Note: “Intimacy generally refers to the feeling of being in a close personal association and belonging together. It is a familiar and very close affective connection with one another as a result of a bond that is formed through knowledge and experience of the other. Genuine intimacy in human relationships requires dialogue, transparency, vulnerability, and reciprocity. The verb “intimate” means “to state or make known”. The activity of intimating (making known) underpins the meanings of “intimate” when used as a noun and adjective. The noun “intimate” means a person with whom one has a particularly close relationship. This was clarified by Dalton (1959) who discusses how anthropologists and ethnographic researchers access “inside information” from within a particular cultural setting by establishing networks of intimates capable (and willing) to provide information unobtainable through formal channels. The adjective “intimate” indicates detailed knowledge of a thing or person (e.g., “an intimate knowledge of engineering” and “an intimate relationship between two people”).”(From Wikipedia, read more here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intimate_relationship)
