There is an important lesson we should learn from the Lord’s example: patience and longsuffering. Because a spouse sins by violating their marriage vows, doesn’t give their wife or husband the right to divorce them without considerable opportunity given for repentance, even for adultery. I am aware of the excruciating pain that such a betrayal brings. But we have to ask ourselves if this is a sin the Lord won’t forgive or that the Blood can not cleanse from (I John 1:9). If He forgives, so must we. If we don’t, we put ourselves in jeopardy (Mark 11:26). The same is true for neglect or abuse. Jesus gives us a process whereby someone who has sinned against us can be restored if they will repent (Matthew 18:15-17). If there is repentance, here is what the Lord requires: 我们应该从主的榜样中学到一个重要的功课：忍耐和宽容。 配偶违反婚姻誓言而犯罪，并不意味着他们的妻子或丈夫有权在没有给与相当悔改机会的情况下与他们离婚，即使是通奸也是如此。 我知道这种背叛会带来极大的痛苦。 但我们必须扪心自问，这是否是主所不饶恕的罪，或是耶稣的宝血所不能洗净的罪（约翰一书 1:9）。 如果祂宽恕，我们也必须宽恕。 如果我们不这样做，就会把自己置于危险之中（马可福音 11：26）。 弃养或虐待的境况也是如此。 耶稣为我们提供了一个程序，让得罪我们的人只要悔改，就能恢复关系（马太福音 18：15-17）。 如果悔改，主的要求如下：
“Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.” Galatians 6:1. 弟兄们，若有人偶然被过犯所胜，你们属灵的人就当用温柔的心把他挽回过来；又当自己小心，恐怕也被引诱。（加拉太书 6:1）
These instructions concerning how we are to treat one another as members of the body of Christ become even more important in a marriage, because of the covenant vows taken before the Lord. The sacrificial love that is to motivate our gracious behavior toward one another as members of His body should be enlarged, not diminished. Sadly, too often a spouse may treat their wife or husband in a less honorable way than they should because of the marriage bond. They may think that their spouse has no choice but to put up with their hardness of heart and thereby take them for granted. This is a result of not realizing that by violating their covenant vows, they are in fact destroying that very bond. It is the vows before God that creates the covenant union. As we shall see in chapter six, there is no mystical union or “oneness” that transcends the covenant. The covenant is the union and it is what gives structure to the relationship characterized as “one flesh”. In Ephesians 5:33, when Paul instructs the husbands to love their wives and the wives to respect their husbands, I believe that the Lord is telling us to honor our marriage vows in a way that will demonstrate an even higher level of love and respect than what is common within the body of Christ. 这些关于我们作为基督身体的肢体应如何彼此相待的指示在婚姻中变得更加重要，因为我们在主面前立下了盟誓。 作为主的肢体，牺牲的爱是我们以恩慈相待的动力，这种爱应该被放大，而不是被缩小。 可悲的是，由于已婚的关系，配偶对待妻子或丈夫的方式往往没有他们应该有的尊重。 他们可能会认为自己的配偶别无选择，只能忍受他们的铁石心肠，从而认为他们的付出是理所当然的。 这是因为他们没有意识到，违背盟约誓言实际上就是在诋毁婚姻的关系。 正是在上帝面前的誓言建立了这盟约里的结合。 正如我们将在第六章看到的，在人的关系中没有任何盟约是超越婚约的神秘结合或 “合一”。 婚姻的盟约就是结合，它是 “一体 ” 关系的结构。 在以弗所书 5：33 中，当保罗指示丈夫要爱妻子，妻子要尊重丈夫时，我相信主是在告诉我们要尊重我们的婚姻誓言，表现出比基督肢体间常见的爱和尊重更高的水平。
But what if, after every opportunity has been given to allow a spouse to repent from their sin against their covenant companion, they continue to sin in a stubborn and hard hearted way? According to Matthew 18:17, the wronged spouse may have to separate, disunite, or divorce them self from the unrepentant partner. The doctrine of disfellowship is one that many Christians have a hard time accepting. But scripture gives two very clear reasons for it: first, to facilitate repentance (II Thessalonians 3:14; I Corinthians 5:1, 11-13; II Corinthians 2:4-8) and, secondly, to maintain purity in the body of Christ (I Corinthians 5:6-11; II John 7-11; Titus 3:9-11). If a wronged spouse wants to maintain spiritual integrity as a functioning member of a local body of believers, it may be necessary to recognize that the marriage is broken and to divorce themselves from the corrupting influence of the unrepentant spouse. Again, the Lord is our example. 但是，如果已经给了配偶各种机会让他们悔改，但他们仍然顽固不化、铁石心肠地犯罪，那该怎么办呢？ 根据马太福音 18：17，犯错的配偶可能不得不与没有悔改的伴侣分居、分离或离婚。 许多基督徒都很难接受这种割席 (disfellowship)的教义。 但圣经给出了两个非常明确的理由为何需要割席：第一，是为了促进悔改（帖撒罗尼迦后书 3：14；哥林多前书 5：1，11-13；哥林多后书 2：4-8）；第二，是为了保持基督身体的纯洁（哥林多前书 5：6-11；约翰后书 7-11；提多书 3：9-11）。 如果受委屈的配偶想保持属灵的完整性，成为当地信徒肢体中正常运作的一员，就有必要承认婚姻已经破裂，并与不思悔改的配偶离婚，摆脱其腐蚀性的影响。 主在这个境况同样地是我们的榜样。
The English extract is from this book, Davies, G. W. (2012). It Is Not Good That Man Should Be Alone. (Translated with Permission)
Buy the English Kindle Version here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0095ZIZVC?ref_=cm_sw_r_apan_dp_ZSYNYA9XV39477SDQFZG&language=en-US&fbclid=IwAR2fJvPlQYccZyLaTJ4Vt-vBEuqinp9XovXA3V7rLhV02TJwqZkaXVGOoHc
Why the Bible teaches Doctrine of Disfellowship? 为什么《圣经》教导 “割席”的教义？
(1) To Facilitate Repentance (1) 促进悔改
如果有人不听从我们这封信上的训勉，要把这个人记下来，不可和他来往，好叫他自己觉得惭愧。帖撒罗尼迦后书 3：14
Take special note of anyone who does not obey our instruction in this letter. Do not associate with them, in order that they may feel ashamed. (2 Thessalonians 3:14)
听说你们中间竟然有淫乱的事，这样的淫乱在教外人中间都没有，就是有人和他的继母同居。你们还是自高自大！难道你们不该觉得痛心，把作这件事的人从你们中间赶出去吗？(哥林多前书 5:1-2)
It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that even pagans do not tolerate: A man is sleeping with his father’s wife. And you are proud! Shouldn’t you rather have gone into mourning and have put out of your fellowship the man who has been doing this? (1 Corinthians 5:1-2)
11但现在我写信告诉你们，如果有称为弟兄，却是行淫乱、贪心、拜偶像、辱骂人、醉酒或勒索的，这样的人，不可和他来往，连和他吃饭都不可。 12审判教外的人，跟我有甚麽关系？教内的人不是你们审判的吗？ 13至於教外的人， 神会审判他们。你们要把那恶人从你们中间赶出去。(哥林多前书 5：11-13)
But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people. What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked person from among you.” (1 Corinthians 5:11-13)
(2) Maintain purity in the Body of Christ (2) 维护基督身体的纯洁性
6你们这样自夸是不好的。你们不知道一点面酵能使全团面发起来吗？ 7你们既是无酵的面，就应当把旧酵除净，好让你们成为新的面团；因为我们逾越节的羊羔基督已经被杀献祭了。 8所以我们守这节，不可用旧酵，也不可用又邪又恶的酵，而是要用纯洁真实的无酵饼。9我以前写信告诉你们，不可与淫乱的人来往。 10这话当然不是指这世上行淫乱的、贪心的、勒索的，或拜偶像的人；如果是这样，你们就非脱离这世界不可。 11但现在我写信告诉你们，如果有称为弟兄，却是行淫乱、贪心、拜偶像、辱骂人、醉酒或勒索的，这样的人，不可和他来往，连和他吃饭都不可。 12审判教外的人，跟我有甚麽关系？教内的人不是你们审判的吗？ 13至於教外的人， 神会审判他们。你们要把那恶人从你们中间赶出去。(哥林多前书 5:6-13)
6Your boasting is not good. Don’t you know that a little yeast leavens the whole batch of dough? 7Get rid of the old yeast, so that you may be a new unleavened batch—as you really are. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed. 8Therefore let us keep the Festival, not with the old bread leavened with malice and wickedness, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth.
9I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— 10not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. 11But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.
12What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? 13God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked person from among you.” (1 Corinthians 5:6-13)
7有许多欺骗人的已经在世上出现，他们否认耶稣基督是成了肉身来的；这就是那骗人的和敌基督的。 8你们要小心，不要拆毁我们已经完成的工作，却要得着美满的赏赐。 9凡越过基督的教训又不持守的，就没有 神；持守这教训的，就有父和子了。 10如果有人到你们那里，不传这教训，你们就不要接待他到家里，也不要问候他； 11因为问候他的，就在他的恶事上有分了。 (约翰二书 1:7-11)
7I say this because many deceivers, who do not acknowledge Jesus Christ as coming in the flesh, have gone out into the world. Any such person is the deceiver and the antichrist. 8Watch out that you do not lose what we have worked for, but that you may be rewarded fully. 9Anyone who runs ahead and does not continue in the teaching of Christ does not have God; whoever continues in the teaching has both the Father and the Son. 10If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not take them into your house or welcome them. 11Anyone who welcomes them shares in their wicked work. (2 John 7-11)
9你要远避愚昧的辩论、家谱、纷争和律法上的争执，因为这都是虚妄无益的。 10分门结党的人，警戒一两次之後，就要和他绝交。 11你知道这种人已经背道，常常犯罪，定了自己的罪。(提多书 3 :9-11)
9But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless. 10Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them. 11You may be sure that such people are warped and sinful; they are self-condemned. (Titus 3:9-11)
