- Johnny grew up with an abusive alcoholic father who was also a skilled chef, creating a confusing dynamic of violence followed by cooking as a form of apology
- At age 12, Johnny was approached by gang members and given $100 on his first day of hanging out with them, which made him feel loved and accepted
- He joined a Chinese Mafia called “Wah Ching” (Chinese youth) that was involved in extortion, robberies, and other criminal activities
- Johnny was sentenced to 4 years in juvenile detention at age 12 for a robbery, where he got into over 40 fights
- After release, he was arrested again at age 16 for shooting at a rival gang’s car and sentenced to 10 years in prison
- Upon release at age 24, Johnny struggled to find legitimate work and returned to selling drugs, making $30,000-$50,000 monthly but feeling deeply depressed
- His best friend was killed during an attempted robbery, dying in Johnny’s arms and leaving him with severe survivor’s guilt
- A series of deaths, including his friend’s murder and another friend’s suicide in prison, led Johnny to contemplate ending his life
- Johnny’s mother, who had converted to Christianity, convinced him to visit her church where the pastor served him his favorite dish – black bean noodles
- The pastor encouraged Johnny to reconcile with his father, leading to an emotional meeting where both apologized to each other
- Today, Johnny works as a prison minister, helping inmates who are in similar situations to what he experienced
约翰尼（Johnny）成长于一个有施虐倾向的酗酒父亲身边，而他的父亲同时也是一位技艺精湛的厨师。这种暴力行为后以烹饪作为道歉方式的模式，形成了一种矛盾的家庭关系。 - 12岁时，帮派成员主动接触约翰尼。在他第一天和他们厮混时，对方给了他100美元，这让他感受到了被爱与接纳。
- 他加入了一个华人黑帮（华青），该帮派涉嫌敲诈勒索、抢劫及其他犯罪活动。
- 12岁时，约翰尼因抢劫被判4年少年监禁，在狱中参与了40多次斗殴。
- 出狱后，16岁的他又因向敌对帮派的车辆开枪被捕，被判10年监禁。
- 24岁出狱后，约翰尼难以找到正当工作，于是重操旧业贩卖毒品，月收入达3万至5万美元，内心却深陷抑郁。
- 他最好的朋友在一次抢劫未遂中丧命，死在了约翰尼的怀里，这让他背负了沉重的幸存者愧疚感。
- 一系列死亡事件——包括好友被杀、另一位好友在狱中自杀——让约翰尼萌生了轻生的念头。
- 约翰尼的母亲已皈依基督教，她说服约翰尼去自己所在的教堂。在那里，牧师为他端上了他最爱的食物——黑豆面。
- 牧师鼓励约翰尼与父亲和解，这促成了一场充满情绪张力的会面，父子二人互相道歉。
- 如今，约翰尼担任监狱牧师，帮助那些处境与他过去相似的囚犯。
Johnny’s Journey 约翰尼的人生历程
Johnny’s story begins with a childhood marked by violence and confusion. His father, while a talented chef who made Johnny’s favorite black bean noodles, was also physically abusive. In Asian culture, as Johnny explains, expressions like “I love you” or “I’m sorry” were rare, with his father showing affection through cooking rather than words. This contradictory environment shaped Johnny’s early understanding of love and relationships.
By age 12, Johnny’s anger issues manifested in violence toward other children. His life took a decisive turn when gang members approached him, asking about his affiliations. When they discovered he wasn’t part of any gang, they invited him to hang out and gave him $100 on the first day. For a child from the projects with an abusive home life, this gesture felt like genuine love and acceptance, pulling him fully into gang life.
Johnny joined a Chinese gang called “Wah Ching” (Chinese youth), a group involved in various criminal activities including extortion, robberies, and home invasions. His desire for validation and love from his new “family” drove him to volunteer for increasingly violent acts. At just 12 years old, he was arrested for robbery and sentenced to four years in juvenile detention, where he describes getting into over 40 fights in what he calls “gladiator school.”
Upon release at 16, Johnny lasted only 67 days before being arrested again for shooting at a rival gang’s vehicle. This time he received a 10-year sentence in adult prison. The experience exposed him to extreme violence, including stabbings and racial tensions, further hardening him. When he was finally released at age 24, Johnny struggled to reintegrate into society, finding that his criminal record prevented legitimate employment.
Returning to what he knew, Johnny began selling drugs, making between $30,000-$50,000 monthly. Despite his financial success, luxury apartment, and BMW, he felt deeply depressed and empty. His life took another tragic turn when his best friend was killed during an attempted robbery they planned together, dying in Johnny’s arms. This event, followed by the murder of a young gang member he had recruited and the suicide of another childhood friend in prison, pushed Johnny toward suicidal thoughts.
The turning point came unexpectedly when Johnny’s mother, who had converted to Christianity, needed a ride to church after her car broke down. At the church, the pastor served Johnny his favorite dish – black bean noodles – and encouraged him to reconcile with his father. Despite initial resistance, Johnny arranged a meeting with his estranged father and apologized for his life choices. To his surprise, his father also apologized for his failures as a parent, leading to an emotional reconciliation that changed Johnny’s life.
Today, Johnny works as a prison minister, using his experiences to help inmates facing similar struggles. His tattoos and background give him credibility with prisoners, allowing him to connect with them in ways others cannot. When asked what he would tell his 10-year-old self, Johnny becomes emotional, saying he would encourage patience and hope, expressing gratitude for the unexpected positive turn his life has taken.
约翰尼的故事始于一个充满暴力与困惑的童年。他的父亲虽厨艺精湛，能做出约翰尼最爱的黑豆面，却也有肢体施暴的行为。正如约翰尼所说，在亚洲文化中，“我爱你”“对不起”这类表达十分罕见，他的父亲习惯通过烹饪而非言语来传递关爱。这种矛盾的成长环境，塑造了约翰尼早年对爱与人际关系的认知。
12岁时，约翰尼的愤怒问题已表现为对其他孩子施加暴力。帮派成员主动接近他，询问他是否有帮派归属，这成为他人生的关键转折点。当得知他不属于任何帮派后，对方邀请他一起厮混，并在第一天就给了他100美元。对于一个来自贫民区、在家中饱受虐待的孩子来说，这份举动仿佛是真切的爱与接纳，彻底将他拉入了帮派生活。
约翰尼加入了一个华人黑帮（华青），该帮派涉嫌敲诈勒索、抢劫、入室盗窃等多种犯罪活动。他渴望从这个新“家庭”中获得认可与关爱，这促使他主动参与越来越多的暴力行为。年仅12岁的他，因抢劫被捕并被判4年少年监禁——他将这段经历称为在“角斗士学校”里度过，期间参与了40多次斗殴。
16岁出狱后，约翰尼仅安分了67天，就因向敌对帮派车辆开枪再次被捕，这次他被判10年成人监禁。监狱生活让他目睹了包括持刀伤人、种族冲突在内的极端暴力，也让他变得更加冷酷。24岁终于出狱时，约翰尼发现自己难以融入社会：犯罪记录让他无法找到正当工作。
无奈之下，约翰尼重操旧业开始贩卖毒品，月收入达3万至5万美元。尽管经济宽裕、住着豪华公寓、开着宝马车，他的内心却极度抑郁与空虚。人生的又一场悲剧接踵而至：他和最好的朋友策划了一起抢劫，朋友却在行动中丧命，死在了他的怀里。随后，他招募的一名年轻帮派成员被杀、另一位童年好友在狱中自杀——这一系列事件让约翰尼产生了自杀的念头。
人生的转折点来得猝不及防：约翰尼已皈依基督教的母亲，因车子抛锚需要搭车去教堂，便说服他送自己一程。在教堂里，牧师为他端上了他最爱的黑豆面，并鼓励他与父亲和解。尽管起初抗拒，约翰尼还是安排了与疏远已久的父亲见面，并为自己过往的人生选择道歉。令他意外的是，父亲也为自己作为家长的失职致歉。这场充满情绪张力的和解，彻底改变了约翰尼的人生。
如今，约翰尼担任监狱牧师，用自己的经历帮助那些面临相似困境的囚犯。他的纹身与过往经历，让他在囚犯中拥有了可信度，得以用他人无法企及的方式与他们建立联结。当被问及想对10岁的自己说些什么时，约翰尼情绪激动地表示，他会告诉当年的自己要保持耐心与希望，并对人生意外出现的积极转折心怀感恩。
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