To determine if you’re being judgmental or truly discerning, consider the following:
Motivation and Attitude
Discernment comes from a place of love, compassion, and a desire to understand, while judgment often stems from fear, insecurity, or a need to feel superior. Ask yourself:
- Am I approaching this situation with curiosity and openness, or with a critical, condemning attitude?
- Do I feel inordinately angry and distraught (judgemental) or curious and compassionate (discernment)[6]?
Focus and Perspective
Discernment focuses on understanding God’s truth and applying it wisely, while judgment tends to be more about personal opinions or cultural standards.
- Am I trying to understand the situation objectively, or am I quick to criticize and condemn?
- Am I considering multiple perspectives, or am I stuck in a “black and white” mindset?
Self-Reflection
Discerning people are willing to examine their own hearts and motives, while judgmental people often assume they’re always right.
- Am I asking myself important self-reflection questions, or am I assuming I know everything about the situation?
- Am I willing to consider my own biases and shortcomings?
Outcome and Intention
Discernment aims to help and understand, while judgment often seeks to condemn or elevate oneself.
- Is my goal to help or understand, or to make myself feel better by putting others down?
- Am I focused on condemning behavior, or on understanding the person behind it?
Flexibility and Openness
Discernment remains open to new information and perspectives, while judgment tends to be final and closed-off[11][18].
- Am I willing to change my mind if presented with new information?
- Do I see this as a final verdict, or as part of an ongoing process of understanding?
Empathy and Compassion
Discernment involves trying to understand others’ perspectives and experiences, while judgment often lacks empathy.
- Am I trying to put myself in the other person’s shoes?
- Am I considering what might be going on beneath the surface?
By honestly evaluating your thoughts, feelings, and motivations using these criteria, you can better distinguish between being judgmental and exercising true discernment. Remember, the goal is to approach situations with wisdom, compassion, and a desire to understand, rather than to condemn or elevate yourself.
Read more here:
[1] https://learn.ligonier.org/articles/discernment-thinking-gods-thoughts
[2] https://bible.org/question/what-difference-between-discernment-and-being-judgmental
[3] https://www.christianstudylibrary.org/article/difference-between-being-discerning-and-being-judgmental
[4] https://cscchurch.com/judging-vs-discerning/
[5] https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/sapient-nature/201105/dont-be-judgmental-be-discerning
[6] https://kingsfellowshipchurch.com/discernment-vs-judgment/
[7] https://hissparrowblog.com/judgment-versus-discernment-the-golden-rule/
[8] https://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/parenting/foundations/character-development/teaching-kids-the-difference-between-discernment-and-being-judgmental/
